


Guide Me Through The Dark

by lutes_and_dandelions



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Lighthouse Keeper AU, Lighthouse Keeper Eskel, Lighthouse Keeper Lambert, Love Confessions, M/M, cuddling for warmth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lutes_and_dandelions/pseuds/lutes_and_dandelions
Summary: It was such a stupid idea but the damn words kept trying to force their way out of Lambert’s mouth and his Mama had always told him that if he loved someone he should tell them. Granted she probably hadn’t thought that someone would be a man but she was long dead and couldn’t judge him for it. Not that she’d ever judged him for anything while she’d been alive. Still, Eskel was hardly someone he’d ever imagined falling in love with.
Relationships: Eskel/Lambert (The Witcher)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 45





	Guide Me Through The Dark

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GreenBird](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenBird/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Lovely!!!! I hope you're having a fabulous day! <3
> 
> Thank you to the wonderful [Skeptic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Oversharing_Skeptic/pseuds/The_Oversharing_Skeptic) for being the bestest beta anyone could ask for! <3

It was such a stupid idea but the damn words kept trying to force their way out of Lambert’s mouth and his Mama had always told him that if he loved someone he should tell them. Granted she probably hadn’t thought that someone would be a man but she was long dead and couldn’t judge him for it. Not that she’d ever judged him for anything while she’d been alive. Still, Eskel was hardly someone he’d ever imagined falling in love with. 

When Lambert thought about it it made sense as he tended to purposefully _not_ think about things so it had taken him a lot longer to catch onto the way he felt about Eskel then it probably should have done. Eskel was just so good and patient and put up with Lambert being a spiky bastard when the shellshock became a little too much. When he woke up from nightmares or the clang of a cooking pot made him flinch or throw him back to one of those disgusting fox holes in France, Eskel was there to help. Just as Lambert was there to help when the sound of digging wouldn’t stop ringing in Eskel’s ears or he thought that mine was exploding all over again, cutting open his face. 

The comfort had started out as platonic but after one too many bottles of wine it had become sexual. Then without Lambert realising, it had become romantic, for him at least. Eskel made him feel safe, warm, understood and not alone anymore. Plus, he made living in a lighthouse on a spit of a Scottish islet with a grand total of ten square metres of grass and nothing but kittiwakes for neighbours quite a nice way to spend his life after the shitstorm that was the war and his abysmal childhood. 

So one absolutely random morning, a little before noon, Lambert found himself _admitting_ all of that _to_ Eskel along with his love for the big softie while also managing to sound annoyed about it. They were in the combined kitchen and living room on the fifth floor of their seven story lighthouse. Nothing had happened to prompt Lambert’s declaration, Eskel had just gotten up to make them tea when it had just sort of burst out of him. 

Eskel had stilled like deer scenting a wolf and stared at Lambert with his mouth open through the entire impromptu speech. At the end Lambert kind of trailed off, he didn’t smile, just stared at Eskel and waited for him to respond. But Eskel didn’t respond, he just continued to stare and Lambert’s stomach sank lower and lower until it was sitting somewhere approximately around his ankles. 

“Say something!” He snapped, surging to his feet. 

“I- You- I-“ Eskel stammered, eyebrows tugging down into a frown. 

Lambert tutted and stormed from the room, using anger to hide his hurt. It had been a cataclysmicly idiotic idea to even allow himself to acknowledge his feelings for Eskel nevermind telling him about them. He descended the ladders to the base of the lighthouse as quickly as possible, passing through the multiple dark, windowless storerooms on memory alone. 

Outside, the blue sky mocked Lambert, patchy clouds quickly travelling across it, pushed along by a sharp westerly wind. Storming down the steps and along to the end of jetty they used to receive supplies, Lambert yelled, “FUCK!” at the great expanse of the Atlantic in front of him. Oh how he wished to be as uncaring as the water that surrounded him. Spray from the waves crashing against the islet rock rebounded towards the jetty, hitting him, but where the feeling of the water usually calmed him it did nothing to soothe the tumultuous feelings inside of him. 

Lambert stared out at the waves travelling towards the islet. They didn’t look so large that far out but as soon as they hit the steep incline of the rocks they surged in height, unleashing their power upon them. The most innocuous looking wave could become a monster upon hitting the shore, you never noticed a tsunami out at sea. 

“FUCK!” He screamed again, for good measure. The wind carried the sound away, the force twitching his hair and tugging at his clothes as it picked up speed, blowing more sea spray into his face. A wind like that was dangerous, and the tide was coming in, the waves were only going to get larger. Lambert knew he should go back inside, but he wasn’t ready to face Eskel and he didn’t particularly feel like hiding in the oil room. 

Before Lambert could decide either way though, Eskel joined him on the jetty, the sound of his boots on the wood giving him away. Lambert didn’t turn around, he knew how stupidly handsome Eskel was without needing to double check. 

“Lamb, I-”

“Don’t!” Lambert interrupted, shouting over the wind and the crashing waves to make his voice heard. “I don’t need your sorry or your fucking pity.” 

“No, I could never pity you,” Eskel said, voice slightly closer. “How can I when I- Lambert I think we should go back inside.” His tone was sharp and concerned, it was such a lovely voice, no matter how it sounded. Eskel’s rich baritone, it could take Lambert up to the highest heights when it crooned pretty things to him while they laid in bed and took pleasure from one another. Or, it could talk him down, calm him when he was up a height with fear. To say Lambert loved Eskel’s voice would be a massive understatement. 

Eskel was right too, the wind was really whipping the waves into a frenzy. After momentarily closing his eyes and taking a deep fortifying breath, Lambert nodded and turned around. Broad shoulders framed by their grey lighthouse, sunlight was catching on Eskel’s black hair, making it shine beautifully, his brown eyes staring steadily at Lambert. That was another good way of describing Eskel, steady, sure he had his moments but for the most part he was the steadiest person Lambert knew. 

“I’ll come inside,” Lambert agreed. It was stupid not to. 

Eskel smiled, it wasn’t particularly pretty, not with the way his scars mangled it but Lambert still thought he looked absolutely stunning. Despite feeling horrendous, Lambert couldn’t help but return his smile. Turning, Eskel started back towards the house, trusting Lambert to follow him and Lambert did, of course he did. 

Just as Eskel reached the land end of the jetty, a wave surged up against the islet, rebounding and hitting Eskel _hard_. Lambert stared at the now empty space in front of him, momentarily paralysed by the easy way the water had forcibly moved Eskel. There one second and gone the next, like lightning, no time to even make a sound. Lambert couldn’t quite wrap his head around it.

A kittiwake cried somewhere on the islet, setting the rest of them off, the sound snapping Lambert out of his daze. Shouting at the water he ran back towards the lighthouse, stripping and grabbing the load of rope from the lower storeroom that was specifically for such an event. One end was attached securely to the wall, the other end Lambert tied around his waist as he rushed back down to the jetty, heedless of the cold air.

Swearing under his breath Lambert frantically scanned the water, searching for any sign of Eskel. The currents around the islet were treacherous, swirling at speeds that could be difficult to swim against. Lambert stared at the gray blue mass, panic quickly rising. He didn’t believe in God, his childhood had wiped away any kind of faith he could ever have in a higher power, but as he looked for Eskel, Lambert prayed. 

After another desperate few moments, Lambert spotted Eskel’s red jumper just under the water a few meters away. Without pause, Lambert threw himself into the sea. It was so cold it knocked the breath from Lambert’s body, and when he surfaced he gasped but forced himself to swim towards the place he’d spotted Eskel. 

It was difficult, the current trying to force him in the opposite direction but Lambert fought against it as hard as possible. The going felt painfully slow, and Eskel was still below the water. After all of the shitty things he’d experienced throughout the course of his shitty life, nothing could compare to the panic that was thrashing in his chest like an animal. And it was his fault, Eskel was only out on the jetty because he’d been out on a jetty because he’d opened his big, fat _stupid_ mouth. If he couldn’t get to Eskel in time, he’d never stop blaming himself.

Ducking his head under the water, salt stinging his eyes, Lambert spotted Eskel up ahead, floating face down, slowly sinking and being moved by the current. After taking one last deep breath of air, Lambert dived for him. Catching Eskel under his arms, Lambert struggled to kick his way back to the surface while supporting Eskel’s weight. Lungs screaming at him and buffeted by the breaking waves above him, Lambert made himself keep moving even as his muscles ached and cried out for him to stop. 

He broke the surface and breathed in great lungfuls of air, still frantically kicking to tread water while trying to keep Eskel’s head above the water. Lambert couldn’t even speak to try and rouse Eskel, exhaustion pulling at him as he wrapped the rope around Eskel’s chest, fumbling the knot a couple of times before finally managing it. Then he dragged them using the rope, hand over hand, back towards the jetty and the ladder built down the side near the land end. 

Three feet had never seemed so far as when Lambert clung to the lower rungs of the ladder looking up at the jetty above. So close to the islet, the rebounding waves kept hitting them, making Lambert cough and splutter. It was absolutely horrendous, his eyes were streaming and he was so cold he couldn’t really feel his hands anymore.

With more grit than Lambert knew he possessed in his body he climbed the ladder, the cold air biting at his bare skin. There was no time to rest at the top, instead he began hauling Eskel out of the water. The rope cut into Lambert’s hands and he bellowed senselessly, trying to channel any kind of emotion to fuel him, to keep him moving because if he stopped Eskel would surely die and without Eskel it wouldn’t be long before Lambert joined him in hell. 

At last Lambert pulled Eskel onto the jetty, and ignoring the almost overwhelming urge just to collapse right next to him, he propped Eskel up and began pounding on his back. Blood trickled sickenly from a gash on the back of Eskel’s head, the sight of it making fear curl in Lambert’s belly. A few rough pounds later and at last Eskel came too, coughing sea water from his lungs. 

“We gotta move,” Lambert said, standing on shaking limbs. He tugged at Eskel, who was clearly disorientated, his head lolling from side to side as he peered around in confusion. 

“My h-head,” Eskel slurred, clearly as cold as Lambert. If not colder thanks to the saturated clothes that clung to him. 

“I know, I know, K-Kelly, but tough sh-shit you gotta move.” 

With a great heave Lambert got Eskel to his feet and one of his arms around his shoulders. Staggering, Lambert somehow managed to get them up the steps and into the lighthouse. After leaning Eskel up against the wall, he slammed and locked the door behind them with a satisfying low click. 

Whereas Lambert had fled the lighthouse without lighting any of the lamps, Eskel had apparently turned on a few while he had descended to the ground. He could have kissed Eskel for it and would have if his unrequited confession hadn’t been hanging over his head like a particularly emotional cloud. 

“I think I’m g-gonna be s-sick.”

“Be sick w-w-wherever you wa-want,” Lambert stuttered, his teeth chattering so hard he was sure they were going to crack, “but you’re c-cleaning it up later.” 

He herded Eskel over to the ladder and coaxed him up, promising Eskel he’d catch him if he fell. It was slow going, glacially slow but eventually he got them to the bathroom on the third floor and stripped Eskel out of his clothes, leaving them in a pile on the tiles to be dealt with later. Lambert couldn’t look at Eskel while he did it, keeping his touches impersonal and quick. It made something crack painfully in his chest, tears pressing at the corners of his eyes but he forced the emotion back down and into a box. Both of them naked and shivering so hard it was impossible to speak, Lambert grabbed a towel and dried them. Eskel looked dazed and slightly green, his head still bleeding, albeit sluggishly.

Another round of coaxing later and he’d managed to get Eskel up to the living room, leaving him seated on a dining chair. The living room was warm, Lambert knew that objectively, but he couldn’t feel the warmth against his skin, he could only feel the cold. So he threw on a few more logs and then retrieved the first aid box from under the kitchen sink. Eskel hissed at the first touch of the iodine against his wound but otherwise didn’t complain, not even when Lambert wrapped the bandage ludicrously around his head, but it was the only way Lambert could think of that would actually hold it in place. 

There was only one way to fight off the kind of cold that had gotten into both of their bones. Lambert didn’t particularly want to subject himself to such close contact after what had happened, or hadn’t happened, but if they didn’t it would leave them both at risk. So he made himself collect a mattress and blankets from the bunk room, letting them drop down onto the floor below and clumsily arranged them in front of the still burning fire Eskel had lit when he’d gotten up that morning. 

“Come on,” he mumbled, pulling Eskel over to the impromptu bed and helping him lay down on his side with his back to the fire before joining him. He covered them with the blankets and then shuffled forward until they were lying chest to chest. By the time Lambert had settled, Eskel was already asleep. 

Eskel really was incredibly chilled, his skin cold and clammy under Lambert’s palms. He twined their legs together, the emotions tried to break out of the box. Exhaustion tugged at Lambert, his body betraying him as it relaxed into Eskel’s body, as always comforted by his bulk. With the fire crackling merrily behind Eskel, and the steady rise and fall of Eskel’s chest, Lambert’s eyelids only grew heavier. 

He knew he should stay awake and keep Eskel awake but he was just _so tired_. Lambert shuffled down and rested his forehead against Eskel’s chest. In his sleep, Eskel pulled him closer and murmured something unintelligible. Heart aching, Lambert let himself drift, horribly aware that it may be the last time he ever got to fall asleep in his love’s arms.

-oOo-

When Lambert awoke it was, thankfully, still light outside and the fire was still burning. They’d moved in their sleep and Lambert found himself using Eskel’s chest as a pillow. Both of them were sweating under the layers of fabric Lambert had piled on top of them but considering just how cold he’d been earlier, he didn’t mind.

Pushing himself up on one elbow, Lambert gazed down at Eskel. He was still asleep and snoring lightly, relaxed and as beautiful as ever. Eskel hated being called beautiful, didn’t think he deserved such a descriptor but he couldn’t stop Lambert thinking it. Not wanting to ignore what could possibly be a final opportunity, Lambert traced Eskel’s features. Gently running the pad of his index finger up the line of Eskel’s nose, along the creases of his forehead and then across his eyebrows. He stroked his thumb over the expanse of Eskel’s unscarred cheek, he’d shaved that morning but hair was already darkening the line of his jaw, prickly against Lambert’s skin. Moving down to Eskel’s lips, he marvelled at their softness as he brushed his thumb along Eskel’s upper lip, making sure not to touch the gap near the right corner because he knew Eskel hated it. 

Lambert was brushing his thumb back across Eskel’s full bottom lip when they puckered in a kiss, his hand running up Lambert’s side as his eyes opened. 

“Hello,” Eskel rumbled. The confused sheen that had previous clouded his eyes was gone, leaving the brown clear and lovely. 

“Afternoon,” Lambert replied, pulling his hand back. Before it could get very far, Eskel caught his wrist and kissed his palm, making Lambert’s heart skip a beat at the sheer tenderness of the gesture. 

Letting go, Eskel cupped Lambert’s cheek and drew him down into a kiss. Lambert went willingly, sinking it with a sigh because he was weak. If Eskel wanted to pretend Lambert hadn’t put his foot in it earlier and was the reason he almost died then Lambert could deal with that. The physical affection was still far more then Lambert had thought he’d get so it was a bonus really. 

“Thank you,” Eskel whispered against his lips, “Thank you for saving me.” 

Lambert went cold, his stomach sinking. That’s why Eskel was still kissing him even though he didn’t return his feelings, because he was grateful. Not because he wanted too but because he felt like he had too to repay Lambert a debt. It was worse than Eskel deciding just to ignore his earlier confession. 

Pulling away, Lambert turned and sat up, putting his back to Eskel as he tried to pull himself together. A part of him wanted to take advantage of this, have one last night with Eskel before calling an end to it but he couldn’t do it, couldn’t stomach the idea that Eskel was only touching him out of gratitude. 

Fingers pressed into the base of his spine. Eskel moved to sit up but he didn’t get very far, lying back down with a quiet curse and complaint about his head. Lambert wanted to turn around but he just couldn’t make himself. 

“I don’t blame you for what happened,” Eskel said, partly guessing what was going on in Lambert’s head. The mortifying ordeal of being known, Lambert had a love hate relationship with the experience. It was nice knowing that Eskel at least understood some of what was going through his head without having to explain himself, on the other hand Eskel understood some of what was going through his head without having to explain himself. 

Lambert remained silent, not because he wanted too but was unsure if he’d be able to control his voice. However not saying anything only furthered to give him away. 

“What’s wrong, Lamb?” The fingers traced a pattern either side of his spine. 

“Nothing,” he grunted. 

“Well clearly there’s something.” It wasn’t snapped or said sarcastically but there was certainly a gentle prod in Eskel’s words. Lambert knew from experience he didn’t have to answer, but with Eskel experience had also taught him that good things came from answering.

Still, Lambert hesitated a little longer, there was nothing good at the end of the tunnel. The fire continued to crackle and Eskel continued to gently touch him, still comforting and soothing despite Eskel being the direct source of Lambert’s inner turmoil.

“Don’t fuck me just because you’re _grateful_ ,” he snarled. 

“Why the fuck would I do that?”

“So that’s not what that kiss was?!”

“No?” Eskel sounded so genuinely confused Lambert turned to look at him. He was staring up at Lambert with a frown creasing his brows, the confusion in his voice mirrored in his eyes. 

“Then why?” It was Lambert’s turn to be confused. 

“I kissed you because I wanted too,” Eskel’s frown relaxed and he stared up at Lambert with something desperately open and vulnerable in his expression. “And I wanted too because I love you.” 

Whatever Lambert had been expecting, it wasn't that. His brain momentarily short circuited as he stared down at Eskel, his mouth slightly slack, a parody of the way Eskel had stared at him after his earlier confession. Heart hammering in his chest, Lambert could only continue to gape at Eskel as he continued speaking. 

“You’re just so great, you know? Like sure you can be a bit high strung and like things the way you like them but I don’t mind. You’re really nice when you want to be and you usually want to be with me so it’s fine. And you’re brave and really lovely to look at, especially when you don’t know I’m watching yo-.”

“That’s fucking creepy,” Lambert interupted before he could stop himself. 

“No, it’s not,” Eskel groused, but then he smiled that awful smile that Lambert loved so much. “It’s not because we’re in love.” 

Lambert blushed furiously at the statement. 

“I could fry an egg on your cheeks.”

“Fuck off.” Somehow Lambert flushed even harder, warmth that wasn’t from embarrassment growing in his chest. Eskel removed his hand from Lambert’s spine and invitingly held out his arm for Lambert to cuddle into his side. “I’ll have to get up and get the burner going, since you’re incapacitated.” 

“You’ve got a little while yet,” Eskel said, not arguing just coaxing, always coaxing but Lambert would be lying if he said he didn’t fall for it every time. Knowing Eskel had such patience for him, always made Lambert feel so wanted, desired, cared for, and even after much complaint, after such careful cajoling Lambert would do whatever Eskel asked him to do with a smile and a thank you. 

So that’s what Lambert did, pressing himself into Eskel’s side, throwing a leg over his thighs and placing a flat palm over Eskel’s heart. Eskel’s skin was warm and inviting and Lambert nuzzled his cheek into the meat of Eskel’s shoulder. 

“I love you,” Eskel sighed, kissing Lambert’s forehead. 

“Yeah, you’re alright I suppos- OW!” He really should have expected the swat to his arse, but it still caught him by surprise.

“It wasn’t that hard.”

“I can feel your handprint throbbing.”

“Well when I can move I promise to kiss it better.”

“You’d fucking better,” Lambert sniffed. Lifting his head, he pressed a few soft kisses to Eskels lips and brushed their noses together before murmuring, “I love you too, Kelly.”

His heart felt like it was going to burst with emotions he had previously only thought existed in shitty romance novels and he was completely okay with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my lovelies. I hope you enjoyed my first crack at Lambert's POV, I have to say I rather enjoyed writing him <3
> 
> [My Tumblr!](https://lutes-and-dandelions.tumblr.com/)


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